Anyway, this post is not about technical stuff. Today morning P,D,S and me went for a brunch buffet, and here (in the most unexpected of places) I was fortunate enough to observe some “optimization” techniques practiced by the patrons. So here it is : The list of the top four optimization techniques that could be used at a buffet queue.

4. Jumping the queue: Approach the buffet with a plate that already has food, say, two idlis. Pretend to have come to just refill the sambhar or chutney, so skip the queue and go straight to sambhar. Once done, nonchalantly backtrack, grab some dosas/vadas and walk off.

3. Teamwork: Works when you have a friend. If the friend goes for a refill before you do, wait till he reaches the food, hop across to him (with a plate) and grab what you need. Done !

2. Multicore: Similar to 3, except, there is no friend. Just take 2 (or more) plates with you.

And now, the winner. This is the best technique I’ve seen till date, and its simplicity and originality blew my mind ! It is

1. Non-stop eating: Stand in the queue, take what you need, go back to the end of the queue and start eating. No time wasted behind slow coaches, no time wasted walking back and forth between food and table, no danger of missing any refill !

(Note: I feel rusty ! I am not happy the way this post has come out, yet, its a start).

I own a netbook now, after my laptop stopped working

I finished my MBA, and started working again

Moved from Kingston to Ottawa, and then to Toronto

Went Bungee jumping

Flew a 4 seater cessna

Drove 1000+ kms in two days once

More later…

1. A phone call in the morning
2. A walk by the lake with a good friend
3. Printing those biographies on good quality paper
4. A walk back home in the rain
5. Narrowly missing electrocution

And the best of the lot…..

• A wave of the hand, and a smile.

I tried them the next morning. Walking to school did feel like walking on air, and I really liked the way it which the shoe fit my foot. And the cushioning provided was excellent as well.

However, the shoe lace comes undone every 40 steps, like clockwork. I’ve tried every trick in my book (short of using super glue) to hold them together, and nothing has worked. I just cannot understand how these are sold as running shoes.

1) Step 41: Athlete notices that the lace has come undone.

2) Steps 42 – 50 : athlete hops on one leg, while trying to tie the lace

3) Steps 51 – 55 : athelte rolls on the floor

4) Athlete sits up, clutching knee/jaw/shoulder/broken nose.

Alexy, I was wrong about the shoelaces. There are some that just cannot be tied together.

(Note to readers (assuming there are any): Sorry for the abrupt beginning to this post. Filling in the full context is just too much work, and I might lose the motivation to write if I have to fill that in. If there are specific questions, just leave a comment and I’ll answer ).

I was working on the CSR paper all weekend. About 8 pages of verbiage describing how awesome Intel is when it comes to CSR, and how stupid they were to pull out of OLPC program pretty much summarizes my paper. Drifted off to sleep, and was pretty excited today morning when I got up.

The reason for my excitement stems is the fact that we are starting a new module today, and one of the subjects in this course deals with models. Now, I was looking forward to this course. Who would have thought there would be course dealing with models, and naturally to me, that term conjured up ravishing ladies clad in the bare minimum clothing.

So, with a spring in my step (which is amazing given the fact that I twisted my ankle last friday and could barely walk for two days), I bounded into the class five minutes early (which is a significant improvement from the 30 seconds early rule that I normally follow). However, my great expectations went for a toss the minute class started.

The course was about modelling, all right. However, instead of barely clothed ladies, the course focused on mathematical models, and how a manager can use them to make better business decisions (or, in the words of the Prof., come up with bad answers instead of worse answers).

Monday morning blues never go away !

The life in Bangalore, the friends, the fun times seem a distant memory now. In Kingston, doing the MBA from Queen’s School of Business now. Hectic life, and I do get homesick quite often. This too shall pass.

The intention this time is to update this blog frequently. Lets see how things go.

Should return to blogging, starting this week .

So many swap files and temporary data that can be flushed… so much baggage to dump…

A clean new life…….

About 15 mins later, the call dropped abruptly. Cursing my mobile provider, I was about to redial when I noticed the reason for the dropped call – my phone was dead, the battery had run out while I was talking. And the aforementioned beep was the phone’s way of letting me know that the battery level was low.

Bloody stupid design, I think. We are talking about a mid-range feature phone here. Why can’t it have a voice alert feature, a nice female (or male) voice that pleasantly says “Battery low” if I happen to be talking on the phone then ? Luckily for me, I was just talking to a good friend. Think about some poor chap having a row with his better half, and phone happens to die midway.

“Honey, My phone died. I did not hang up on you”

“Oh yeah ?”

*) Been on a bike trip to the Himalayas. Out of the world. (Grider, I know. Pending travelogue )

*) Fell off the bike. Damages - broken teeth, hair line crack in jaw, minor dislocation in the jaw, and a lot of stitches

*) Car trip to Hyderabad.

*) Car trip to Trivandrum. Me being the sole driver. Amazing experience, once again. (travelogue pending )

*) Got 512 kbps connection at home.   (Youtube, here I come ).

*) Started reading George R R Martin’s ”Song of Fire and Ice series”. Just awesome. (review later . Daenerys rocks ! )

*) Started watching Black Adder TV series. I have always loved British comedies, and this one is just rofl material (review later :) )

*) Joined guitar classes :P. Yet another attempt to learn music. Hope something good happens this time.

*) Stopped gymming .

He looked at the tiny serving, and said “Ok. I guess this will do. Can you pack it for me ?”.

“Ok man. Here you go..”.

He walked, nay, limped, towards his apartment, lost in thought. It had been a long day, and not much had gone right. “Boy”, he thought, looking around, “It sure is dark tonight. Can hardly see a thing”.

The phone rang. Absent minded, he answered the call.

“Hello”

————————————————————– ********************** ———————————————————————

He woke up, looked at the clock, and cursed. Not a good start. A long day ahead of him, and already he was behind the clock.

He got ready in a jiffy and ran to the govt office, praying for it to be open. “Funny” , he thought on the way, ” I had about six months to wrap this paperwork up, and i had to leave it to the last day. I hope there is no big queue”.

There was no queue. With a spring in his steps, he reached the main door, and then he noticed the sign.

“Holiday Today”.

————————————————————– ********************** ——————————————————————-

Evening. A very windy day.

“Been a while since we played, right ?”, his friend asked him.

“Yeah. I cannot remember when we last played. Here. You go first”.

It was a one sided game. He and his mates tried, but the game was long gone. Eager to prove a point, he ran hard, stumbled, and came up clutching his ankle.

————————————————————– ********************** ——————————————————————-

“Rotten day till date. Let me at least check my mails”, he thought, and reached out for his laptop.

Crash !

Shell shocked, he stared at the broken screen.

————————————————————– ********************** ——————————————————————-

“Hello. “

It was not a voice he had expected. “Hey… you know what ? I saw a herd of elephants today. Three adults and two baby elephants. It was sooo wonderful ! “.

He could sense the excitement in the voice. A wind blew the dark clouds away, and the moon came out shining.

Last weekend, Vin, HJ, AB and me had gone to Coorg.

The plan was to start at 0300 hrs in the morning and reach Coorg by 0930 hrs. As usual, the car had just enough fuel to stall on reaching the nearest fuel station. Filled diesel the previous night itself, got some stuff to eat, made a few phone calls, set an alarm to wake me up at 0200hrs on D-Day, and then sat in front of tv watching cricket till 2330hrs. Hit the sack when the following scene materialized in my mind.

Self (Dusting dust off my clothes) : Whee , the last thing i remember is climbing a hair pin bend. What happened ?

Vin : Not much. One second we were cruising at 60 on this straight highway with a 10 km visibility, and the next second we were in a ditch.

We got up when HJ called Vin at 0240, asking us whether we were ready. Vin told him that we were on our way, and we finally got to his place at 0340. 

Vin : HJ, we are here. Come, lets make a move.

HJ (Coming out) : Hey… did you drive with your foot on the accelerator or the brake ? Took you an hour to cover this distance of 500 metres.

Me, after checking, sheepishly : Er, that I did, and the parking brake was on too.  

HJ : AB had called me up at 0230hrs. He might have gone back to sleep by now.

Luckily for us, AB was still awake, although in a slightly sour mood. We picked him up and proceeded on our way to Coorg. Self was driving, and in the first 30 mins, I had perfected my patented technique of driving over speed breakers, which is,

1. Spot the speed breaker when it’s two inches away from the car.
2. Drive over it at 60 kmph
3. Apply the brakes just as the car crosses the speed breaker.
4. Stop the car, wipe the brow, and check whether the car’s damaged
5. Continue the journey
6. Goto step 1 at the next speed breaker.

I also got to practice the art of missing turns, and also sampled the art of taking the wrong turn.

Like a 100 test veteran guiding a novice bunny-esque No:11 to hold out for a draw on the fifth day, HJ guided me through a 100 km stretch before throwing in the towel and asking Vin to take over. We had the following conversation soon after.

HJ : blah blah, I am a good driver. Even I drive into potholes sometimes.

Me : Oh.

HJ : But till date, I have never seen anyone aim for 100% pothole coverage.

Me (Red faced) : eh. Heh heh. Takes a bit of practice. 

Vin, the cool driver that he is, drove for another 100 km or so before the expert, HJ, took over. Unfortunately for HJ, the stretch that he got to drive on was pretty bad. The road was just a collection of potholes connected by small stretches of mud. However, I got a chance to return the compliment I got from HJ a few hours earlier .

We reached coorg at around 0930 hrs, and managed to reach the farmhouse at around. One more funny incident happened enroute, but that will be the subject of the next post.

New year started with a bang. Me, NN, PSS had gone on a car trip to Palakkad. We stayed at NN’s house and had a fabulous time there. V should have joined us, but he pulled out at the last minute because he expected a mild attack of cold.

It was my first long drive in the car (one in which i figured amongst the drivers), and enjoyed every moment of it. Managed speeds in excess of 120kmph in select patches. .

Discovered a new author – Terry Pratchett. Morphed into a bookworm and have been devouring his books. Just one word to summarize him – Funny. Never thought anyone other than PGW could write stuff that makes you go ROFL like this.

Read “House Atreides”, the prequel to Dune, a marvellous book that lays the foundation for the events in Dune. Tells the stories of Shaddam IV, Leto Atreides, Duncan Idaho, House Vernius and, of course, “The Baron”.

Read “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”. If you have read it, then you know what I am talking about, and I wont describe it further. If you have not, then you will not understand what I am talking about, and hence I will not explain it. . Another funny book, to say the least.

World cup ’07 has started. Promises to be the most boring cup ever. Might watch some matches from the Super-gazillion stage, if interest still remains.

Going to a trip (car, of course ) to Coorg tomorrow. Intend to start early morning. Will post some photographs once I come back.

Have a good weekend.

• Potholes right next to a traffic light. When the light is orange, and you step on (or twist) the accelerator, you just cannot miss the pothole. You almost make a journey to the centre of the earth.
• Spine, er, Speed breakers. Scientifically designed to give maximum pain to anyone driving over it at speeds above 1 cm/min.
• Double speed breakers. You cross one and relax, and then wham ! you run into a wall in the middle of the road. Closer inspection proves that it was intended to be a speed breaker, not a property delimiter.
• When it rains, the roads look smooth. However, under  water, you would find height differences that would put the surface of the moon to shame. A deadly 12 feet deep drain and the level road right next to it look the same when both are submerged under water.

However, I am digressing. This post is about driving styles, or rather, about my driving style.

Put me on a two wheeler, and I am as comfortable as a fish in water (non-polluted, one must add). Changing gears, braking, ducking and weaving, high speed jumps ( to negotiate the aforementioned double speed breakers), etc come naturally to me.

However, add another three wheels (two for movement and one for control), and my comfort level becomes similar to that of the previously mentioned fish when it decides to take a walk on land (unless it happens to belong to certain species of catfish which have no problems moving about on land).  I have a loud driving style. Loud does not mean flashy and stylish. I literally keep swearing non-stop throughout the drive. Puts me in a spot when I have to chauffer the fairer sex.

Anyway, here is a (non-exhaustive) list of topics that, according to my friend, I touched upon during the drive.

• The parentage of the other drivers.
• Speculations about their IQ, and comparisons between it and the room temperature (at night, in a cold city). (Often favouring the room temperature).
• The IQ of the person who issued the driving license. (Comparisons between their IQ and the temperature at midnight in the north pole, always favouring the temperature). 
• Questions about the sanity of other drivers.
• Questions about their ability to see and hear.
• Questions about their ability to distinguish colors.

I wonder what the other drivers are thinking about when they drive…

I had given up all hope of ever participating in the beta, and was just despondently following the news about RC1.  I check my windows-live mail once a month, and this time, I had a surprise in store. There was a mail from Microsoft, with details of the latest Vista dvd, and the product keys for the same. Yippee !

I had two options to download the dvd : Use the Akamai download manager, or use a tool like Wget. Spoke to a friend of mine who had already downloaded RC1, and he said that akamai download manager gave him some trouble. Apparently this chap had to restart the download thrice. So I chucked it, and fired up good old wget, and 28 hours later (:( I only have a 256 kbps connection) had the dvd image ready.

Installing vista was a breeze. The whole thing was over in about 30 mins. And so far, it has been great. The eye candy called Aero is amazing. Here is a sample screenshot :

The only niggle I’ve had so far is related to the infamous UAP. I have not been able to delete a particular file on my pc. I get an error about permissions, and that is that.

Update : The “full gprs” connection worked for precisely one day. After that, back to old story, ie, cannot access “https://” sites. Called up Airtel and logged a complaint. Chap said they would rectify it and get back to me by tuesday. I fail to understand why it should work fine for a day and then go kaput.

Update 2 : Moblogger no more. Airtel confirmed that, even with “full” gprs, accessing some sites, such as gmail, is impossible. Given this statement, I have neither the desire nor the patience to “discover” other unsupported sites. Hence have discontinued the “full” gprs plan.

Hell, bsnl offers a better gprs connection (provided you *call them up and activate it* ). Need to ask F for more details.

Mom was in post operative ward yesterday. She came to the room only today afternoon.

Hoping she would recover fast.

Update : Moms home, today, after spending about 10 days in the hospital. She has been advised rest for three months.

I had some stuff to wrap up before going home, and this, I guessed, would take till monday. Since I *had* to be home on tuesday morning, and given my luck with bus journey’s on schedule, I decided to play it safe, and decided to fly to tvm. Once I am on air things like blocks, pilot getting lost, rains, etc would not delay or alter the schedule. Or, so I thought.

The confidence I had in my luck ruled out air deccan. That flight was prone to cancellations, and the minute I got tickets in that, that flight was sure to get cancelled. Hence, got tickets in Indian Airlines (now just Indian, and with good reason, as explained below). The flight route was BLR – Cochin – TVM. (Budget and timings ruled Jet out).

Things went almost smooth till Cochin (around 3 pm). The take off from BLR was delayed (no surprises there.. a take off on schedule would have surprised me. Delays are par course for karram’s journeys). After landing at cochin, the passengers were told to stay in the aricraft, and that the aircraft would take off in 40 mins. Spend the said time checking mails and sending smses.

40 mins came and went. After about an hour, there was an announcement that merely said “The flight was delayed due to technical reasons, and that they needed about 15-20 mins to repair it”. Cursing my luck, I proceeded to finish reading the in flight magazine. 15 mins came and went.. 30 mins passed… an hour passed (2 hours total delay by this time) and then, there was another announcement that said “the flight has been delayed. Please deplane and wait in the lounge”.

When the passengers tried to get into the louge, the security officer there prevented them from entering it, saying they were supposed to come in after a security check. Confusion and chaos for 10 mins. Finally, someone decided to send the tvm bound passengers in a taxi. Started from there at 6, reached home at 11.

The taxi driver, the chap who drove me and two other blokes to tvm, said this was a regular occurance. Any time the passenger count went below a threshold, the flight would be cancelled due to “technical reasons” and passengers sent by taxi. Imagine shelling out a mini fortune to fly, and then having to travel by taxi, wasting time and money, and enduring a horrible journey. No wonder Indian Airlines changed its name to Indian. Its not just an Airlines company. It transports passengers on taxis as well.

What stuck me the most was the lack of professionalism in handling the situation. The passengers had to put up with a 2 hour delay, which was way beyond the actual flight time from cochin to tvm (around 30 mins). They were not updated about the status. The arrangements made were haphazard. They were told to go to the lounge, and the security personnel there refused entry to the passengers. People travelling to bangalore were put on a jet airways flight, whereas those travelling to tvm had to take a taxi. If I can travel by a taxi, I can take a bus as well. Why should I pay a premium for a taxi ride (sans a/c) ? Passengers going to tvm were told to drop into a hotel and have snacks. The hotel staff were not informed about this.

On a personal note, this journey is significant. So far, I had only been able to delay buses and trains. This journey is a proof of my growing power. I actually affected an aircraft.

Ultimate irony ? Watching out of the window of the grounded aircraft, and observing an air deccan flight land
on time, drop passengers, pick up new ones, and fly off.. on schedule.